winterinthetardis:

Stuck at a Vitex Holiday Party, Rose tried desperately to shake off the unease she was feeling. How could everyone insist on celebrating a Christmas party when the stars were going out? But Pete had insisted that it would be exactly what everyone needed to raise some morale, and Rose had no say in the matter. As Vitex’s Golden Heiress, Rose was forced to attend, even when Pete knew that she would rather be at Torchwood, trying to tweak the cannon’s accuracy. She knew they were getting close, very close to finding the Doctor - well, her time’s Doctor. She had already found the Doctor - it just happened to be the wrong one. Her heart ached viciously as she remembered the event. 

——

She had made the jump, looked up and the first thing she had seen was the TARDIS, standing tall and as blue as ever. She started running, as fast as she could, hurtling herself closer to it. Finally, I’m home, she thought, running past a group of children talking to a man with a cowboy hat. She practically tore the TARDIS key from around her neck in her hurry to stuff it in the lock but she froze when she heard someone calling her name incredulously.

“Rose?”

She turned slowly, her hands shaking, and she saw the man in the cowboy hat, staring at her blankly. She straightened her blue leather jacket and took a tiny step forward, as though not sure of what to expect. Could he be…? She looked at him. This young man, with his red bowtie and ridiculous hat, had the oldest and most tortured eyes she had ever seen since her first… “Doctor?”

His face suddenly broke. “Oh, Rose…”

Before Rose even realized what had happened, she was buried in his arms, clutching at him. His arms were clenched around her so tightly, she was having difficulties breathing but she dared not say a word that would make him stop. Hot tears were streaming down her face as she realized he was muttering her name over and over again, burying his head into her hair and breathing her in. “Shhh,” she whispered to him. “I’m here now, Doctor. I’m finally here.”

But as soon as the words had come out of her mouth, the Doctor pulled away, breathing deeply. “Yes, you are, Rose, but you’re not meant to be.”

Rose’s mouth dropped. “Not meant to… What? I have been looking for you for ages, Doctor. We need you- I need you. The stars are going out and-“

But the Doctor shook his head, his facial expression schooled back into one that gave nothing away. “I know, Rose, I know it all. But you’ve got the wrong Doctor. You have to keep looking. In my past, you find me when I was still… Well, the me you knew.”

Rose’s face fell. “But Doctor, I finally found you. I don’t want to leave you again.”

His mouth trembled a little before a soft, heartbreaking smile came to his face. “Oh, Rose Tyler… You’ll find me again.”

“But why aren’t I here with you now?”

The Doctor just shook his head. “Rose, it’s been ages. Almost 200 years since I last saw you.”

“Two hundred…?” She trailed off, shocked. “But…”

“No more questions, Rose. You know I can’t give anything else away.” He straightened his bowtie. “You should leave now. Who knows what has already changed from you being here? No, it’s best you should go. You need to keep working and I have… I have an appointment I need to keep.”

“Appointment? What-” But she broke off at the look on his face. Whatever it was, he wasn’t going to share and Rose knew better than to argue. So she gave him one last hug and as she felt him squeeze her tightly, she knew that even after all this time…

“Thank you, Rose Tyler.”

“For what?” She asked.

“For always being there when I need you the most.” And with that, he reached up, tucked a stray hair back behind her ear, then activated the dimensional cannon for her.

——

Lost in the memory, she didn’t realize what was going on until Ben had bumped her shoulder. He was one of the few people at Vitex that Rose actually knew.

“Rose? Back with us, yeah?” 

She nodded, “Sorry, I was-” but suddenly broken off when she realized what she was looking at. “Why are you wearing a bowtie?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Ben had asked.

Everything, she had thought, her heart clenching again as she thought of the last man she had seen wearing a bowtie. Her insides ached with grief at his loss, but at least she knew she would find him eventually. “Nothing, it’s just not very you.”